I’m just going to come out and say that I have really BAD
anxiety. I’m not at all ashamed to admit this but it’s not exactly a good conversation starter either. I have anxiety so bad that I have to take medication for it.. and while we are on the subject I just want to say that, having anxiety is not something that just goes away. If you know someone that has it, you can’t just tell that person to stop having anxiety or stop worrying or stop stressing because those things are all connected, and unfortunately they literally CAN NOT just stop having anxiety. This is a real mental illness and if you would like to know more information about it, there are a ton of articles you can find on the internet. Now you might be wondering what anxiety has to deal with what I’m about to tell you but it actually has everything to do with it.
If you have to sit and think about one great reason as to why you are at your current job.. then why are you even there?
I will always stand by that. WHY? Why are you doing this to yourself. You know you have a choice.. right?
Sadly I’m not the type of person who just says exactly how they feel all the time. I wish I could be that person but ANXIETY ruins that for me. I will sit and think about all of the possible things that could go wrong by saying how I feel instead of the things that could go right. Which brings me to the name of this blog post… why I randomly quit my job. Now I’m not going to tell you where I worked or the names of my coworkers because I’m a classy lady and I would never make someone feel the way they made me feel. Maybe it’s because of anxiety and I would be too worried about what that person would do back to me.. or maybe it’s because I CARE too much about people.
When I first started my job I absolutely loved it. I loved the people I worked with and still do love them, those awesome people are the only thing that kept me going as long as I did. Everything seemed fine..great actually. Then things started to get worse.. sometimes it takes awhile to truly get to know someone and how they work. I want you all to know that bullying is still very real, it doesn’t just end when you get out of high school. Those people are still out there and they do this because that is literally all that they know. Getting upset with some random person who has nothing to deal with your past and blaming everything on them is a form of bullying. That is how they lash out, that is how they deal with what they are going through…is by making everyone else miserable too. Being at my work was toxic and every time this person walked through the door, you could feel the tension and you could tell that they hated being there. Now if you’re wondering why didn’t the person just quit? well that’s a good question.. my guess is that they have a higher position in the company and didn’t know what else they would do with their life.
Things continued to get worse and I contacted someone who is much higher in the company, just so that they were aware of what was going on. They needed to know. I finally realized that no one was going to do anything about this. Which is extremely sad and messed up. If you are a leader in your workplace PLEASE listen to your coworkers. I can not stress this enough. My
anxiety was so bad working there that my whole body would breakout in hives. First it only happened when this toxic person was around… then it started to happen everyday before work. I recently started meditating which is a great way to deal with stress and anxiety.. during one of my sessions the lady talked about befriending anxiety and listening to it, rather than push it away. My body was trying to tell me that this was not a good environment for me and I needed to leave. One day I left for work like all the other days.. had anxiety before I left.. still had it when I got there because I knew who I was going to work with. I tried to make the most out of it and still tried to enjoy being there, until I just couldn’t take it anymore. I finally stood up for myself and told my demon that I have had ENOUGH . I grabbed my things and walked out. I broke out in hives all over my body because like I said earlier.. I care a lot. I care about people and it hurts me to see how people are treating each other. I quit my job, but I also gained a new job in the same day. Sometimes it’s funny how things workout.
REASONS WHY I CHANGED JOBS
- I want a job I am passionate about. I want to wake up and be excited about what I get to go do. If you can’t think of a good reason why you are working at your current job then what is even the point of having it? You know we only have one life and I don’t want to waste mine with some mediocre job. I don’t want to just be content with my job, I want to LOVE what I do.
- Since I do have anxiety, I don’t want to be around people who don’t care about each other and are only there for a paycheck, especially since we will spend more time at work than being home.
- I’m sure my husband was getting tired of me talking about how much I hated my job hahaha sorry hubby but thank you for listening to me 🙂
Number one is the main reason. I put my body through a lot being at that job and was it worth it? absolutely not. There is SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE then what is inside four walls.
“I like places that make you realize how tiny you are your problems are”